Laying it all out

I think too much. And I really rely on my own raitionality most of the time. The truth is I can't figure it all out. When I start thinking about something in my life or some issue I see in the world, my problems seem to multiply. I might even start panicing about how a screw up like me could be worthy to claim the name of Jesus in such a bold way. That's another place that I go wrong. Simply thinking I could ever be worthy. He layed it all out for me. I can only humble myself to accept His greatest gift. Thinking that I could somehow act or live a certain way to ever deserve that is...wrong. Today I woke up thinking about a very heavy, urgent situation in my life. I don't know how to overcome it, because it is so looming....just brooding over me like a thunderstorm. An event happens that is just like lightning striking, and one-onehundred, two-onehundred, three-onehundred...thunder growls. And the storm is headed my way. I think about the most logical way to deal with this. Well, I could get myself all packed up and head out of town. I could check out and say, "Hasta la vista!" But that's what it will always be... "See you later!", and I will always be running, hiding. The second way to deal: get an umbrella, take a deep breath, and face it. It's never an easy thing to do. So, here I am... How much longer can I delay this storm? How many more times will I take my own understanding as the only understanding there is? I have to lay it all out, like Jesus did. Every issue my mind digs up goes on the table before the Lord. God, I can't fix it. That release is giving in to whatever lies ahead. Jesus, be my Umbrella. Cover me in the storms that are so daunting.